| Last night I laid awake, half past the midnight hour. It was a state of consciousness. No sleep in my eyes, I lay thinking, dreaming, in life alive but separate. Rare epiphany, I realized what it was that I had always known. I am absolutely in love. I have always considered it demeaning to refer to my love as girlfriend, not that that term is derogatory, but that it does not cover the depth of my feeling. Secretly, in my mind's blurred eye, I have always refered to her as wife. But here, as I look, and I behold, that term too does not begin to depict my feeling. My lover is my teacher, beholden of more virtue than I, myself, have of which to speak. I could speak of angels, but as Shakespeare did say quite eloquently, in his sonnet most famous, the cliche, potent but overused, is merely distraction from true meaning. Estranged from her I forget. But here, now, clarity obscures my vision. And it is now that I see. Were my sight always so gloriously obstructed, sleep so willfully disturbed, it would be life well spent. But I fear. Passion overtaking is but a distraction from my singularity of purpose. Or is it? How else to be immortal? Torn I am from pursuit of my dreams, requiring full attention, and being locked in my lover's gaze. I do not mean to say she is a burden, only that I am so absolutely vulnerable and in love that I can not decide as to its nature, human or divine? But it is now, through epiphany that I realize she is my dream, my goal. And it is through her that I will derive further strength. Through her I will achieve my greatness. She is greatness. So human, it is divine. So here, days before being with her for a year and one half, I realize that I am in love. And would rather be no where else. Together we are greatness. Immortality is fleeting. For I am in love. |
